think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
