We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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