We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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