Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
