But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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