Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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