Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
