I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can I color on your dick again?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
