Small penises have feelings too.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So many bounce houses so little time
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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