So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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