the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
