Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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