well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
