4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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