ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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