Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
