Only a mothe r could love this liver
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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