It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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