Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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