Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
