I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
