His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
