I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize