He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
