how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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