Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
