he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
