I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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