So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
