I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My ass is underappreciated
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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