My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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