Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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