i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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