We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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