Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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