Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
