its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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