After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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