I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
