I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
