I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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