I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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