All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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