"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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