why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize