im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
