i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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