It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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