whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
