it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize