Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
