there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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