Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
