If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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