Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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