I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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