she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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