she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
