I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Who died my cat blue again?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize