It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
These tits shall not be calmed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize