as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize