So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!