Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it. http://tfl.nu/4aun
  Replies (20) Good night (4791) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (4666)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed. http://tfl.nu/yhbt
  Replies (15) Good night (1337) Bad night (5605)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h
  Replies (7) Good night (1241) Bad night (2971)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch? http://tfl.nu/fqqa
  Replies (6) Good night (2829) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out. http://tfl.nu/qidl
  Replies (6) Good night (3108) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman. http://tfl.nu/chx9
  Replies (8) Good night (1855) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices". http://tfl.nu/tgpv
  Replies (4) Good night (3077) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse. http://tfl.nu/v3q7
  Replies (8) Good night (1048) Bad night (2166)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating. http://tfl.nu/zfrb
  Replies (9) Good night (1453) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie. http://tfl.nu/bbcq
  Replies (5) Good night (1125) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  That's horrible but hilarious

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm going to miss college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else. (1-407): That's horrible but hilarious (407): I'm going to miss college. http://tfl.nu/1mp1
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd
  Replies (6) Good night (1191) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves. http://tfl.nu/lin3
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack http://tfl.nu/paaa
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (439)

Randomize