Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.

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(760): View more from California

she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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(408): View more from California

just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

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(706): View more from Georgia

i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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(702): View more from Nevada

You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on

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